A few years ago, I posted about Meeting the Dragon, where I was coming up to a situation that I didn’t want to confront. My primary emotion then was fear, and even fear of my fear. (Because really, who likes to be afraid?) So here we are, three years later, and I’m facing a really similar situation. This time, though, I’m not afraid. I’m not dreading it. And I’m wondering, what’s the difference? Have I changed so much in three years?
Admittedly, the situation is a bit different. Here are some ways it’s not the same:
- Last time, I was still upset. I felt a personal betrayal that went beyond other circumstances. I’d advise not meeting the dragon until your own emotions have calmed down.
- Last time, the situation didn’t evolve, it exploded. This time, I’ve seen warning signs for months, and I’ve done my best to influence events in the right direction. I don’t feel like there’s anything left on my part that hasn’t been tried.
- Finally, I’ve learned that sometimes I have to be the one to make the tough decisions, and I have to be able to live with them. So I’d better be pretty sure of what I’m doing going in. If I have questions about the wisdom of what I’m contemplating, I’d better think about it until those questions have been resolved.
I’m the kind of person who likes to put things behind me. If there’s something unpleasant coming up, I’d just as soon deal with it and rip the bandage off quickly. But sometimes, the bandage isn’t ready to come off, and tearing it off too soon just makes the healing take longer. I’m still working on how to figure out what’s going on under there while the bandage is still on.